TUESDAY, JULY 7, 2009 AT 5:52AM

As you can see in the lesson title, this week’s lesson is about “How to Ask Someone Out”. I am sure many people would assume that I would be teaching some tips for dating Chinese girls but unfortunately, I am not likely going to. I’m not being rigid here so let me explain. In fact, I have been asked to make a lesson on Chinese pickup lines. I was once asked by some foreign students at my school that “When a sexy girl walks by you on a street, what would you say in Chinese to get her attention but not sound rude?” When they found me not being able to answer this question with my cultural and linguistic instinct as a Taiwanese, I was questioned whether I have been in such a situation before. “Not exactly” is my answer. “You’ve never been picked up by a Taiwanese guy before?” is their confirmation in a rather high pitch. “You know, I am not their dish.” I asserted. (“to be one’s dish” is a Chinese expression we say to indicate someone is our type.) Their doubt embarrassed me but my pride was too high to blame that awkwardness all on myself so I decided to pass on this question on to other Taiwanese people I know. I began to investigate by talking to some Taiwanese bachelors I encountered. “It’s not our style.” they finally claimed. “If you are in a club or a bar, it’s normal to talk to girls you don’t know because that’s what there is for, but not on the street.” I nodded in agreement, thinking this response proved that I am one dish on the menu Taiwanese men would probably order after all.

The concept actually speaks a lot for the culture here. People don’t really talk to people on the street. The only time I can think of ever approaching a stranger is when I need help for road directions, nothing else and it works vice versa. If you are standing by the roadside and someone draws on you and addresses you "Miss/xiao3jie3 (小姐)" or “Mister/xian1sheng1(先生)” in order to get your attention, what you would expect to hear next is “Excuse me, how do I get to…?” or perhaps “Could you please move aside? I’m trying to park.” just not “I think you’re hot.” nor “Could I have your phone number?” I tried to fit into a more typical Taiwanese mentality and pictured me strolling down the street and caught a Taiwanese guy studying me then he finally spoke out of the thin air saying“What’s up, sexy?” The very thought that would erode this incident is “He must have been on drug.” or“I’d better be aware and more careful.”

More interestingly, the phrase “What’s up, sexy?” sounds barely aggravating in English. However, I guess it still depends on the occasion and people it is spoken in Western world to decide how valuable or delightful it is. Yet even in an occasion such as “night clubs/ye4dian4(夜店)” here, if a guy attempts to talk to a girl, he would hit on her along with the ride of the rhythm on the dance floor or “happen to” stand beside her and make his coincident existence known by saying “Are you here alone?/ni3 yi4 ge5 ren2 lai2 ma1?(你一個人來嗎?)” Evidently, a girl rarely clubs by herself but this way, he gets to talk to her as well as to find out if she is single in regard to her response.

I was not lucky enough to pick up any pickup lines from my numbers of interview with Taiwanese men if there is any, and I can’t think of any pickup lines myself that does not sound weird or corny in Chinese either. I suppose pickups simply are not so familiar in Chinese culture, nor does it exist in the language we speak, descriptively.