Midnight, I dragged my tired body home from a day of filming outdoor under the sun and the heat. We filmed in Danshui today, a tourists’ hot spot in Taipei which is about an hour and 30 minutes away from where I live. I felt so beat! I needed a hot shower! On my way home on the train, I had a thought.
A thought of closing up my YouTube channel hit me again. I actually had this thought after my boyfriend who had been working on this with me from the very beginning and I split up and I had to search for a new producer. You may have noticed, I did not upload any new videos for a while because I was under this hectic search. I was yet lucky to have been introduced to this production crew in Taipei via a friend. Two of my latest Mandarin lessons with a better audio sound are their products. But question: how much does Peggy pay them to make videos for her YouTube channel? The answer is I provide my compensation to their professional skills and equipments with my sweat, energy and time. I have thereby begun to make videos for a new channel they recently launched called discoverformosa in which I am presented as a host. And that’s what I was out for a day to film today.
Because I rent a small room near my school in Taoyuan, whenever I am assigned to film something for my YouTube or the company’s traveling videos, I have to take a train ride to Taipei then the subway to the studio. Today, I left my place at noon and did not make it home until it was almost midnight. I was out with the crew all day under the weather of 30 plus Celsius degree. I had fun but it was very exhausting! I realized that I am spending triple or even more time than before in order to keep this YouTube channel going. I have to journey to Taipei to film and edit my YouTube videos; in addition, I have to travel to Taipei and spend nearly a day filming videos for the crew as the deal. I have begun to worry if any of this is going to intrude my education after I get back to school in a few weeks?
I have been in YouTube business since February, 2009. It’s been more than a year. I know there are many people out there are also trying to become a YouTube partner and hoping to make 100,000 USD a year like some of the very well known YouTubers. PeggyTeachesChinese has come a long way and has finally been accepted as a partner in May, 2010. I celebrated in tears and with joy because it means I finally stand a chance to start making some income from making videos for YouTube. However, I believe many viewers have the comprehension that “once you are a YouTube partner, you are making tons of money!” which is incorrect because the videos generate little or no income if nobody “accidentally” clicks on the advertisings. With that fallacy, many of my viewers therefore believe that Peggy is making tons of income and lives in an extravagant lifestyle because she could even afford professional production company to produce her videos and they are probably paying her to host for them. As I said, I am only making those videos in return as my compensation for their making the lessons you have been watching lately. It’s a done deal. I will tell you how much I have made from YouTube’ I have now earned 180.79 USD since my last payment in June. Between which, I have spent so much of my summer working in order to keep it going. I didn’t want to give it up because of a breakup; besides, so much effort and time have been invested.
You all have seen me in the videos. I have a strong passion for teaching Mandarin and broadcasting Taiwanese culture. I have a great deal of fun while making those videos and what truly keeps me moving forward is that strong sense of achievement when a video is finished editing, rendering, uploading and processing then I would start counting the views and read the comments. We all enjoy what we do when it’s something we hold enthusiasms for. But when tonight I came home extremely tired with only 400 NTD left in my pocket and 18 NTD in my account balance, I could not help but wonder if it’s all worth it? My time, my money, my energy and my mind? Is it time to start to think realistically when my passion is taking up too much of everything without helping me get by easier? As a full time college student who lives independently alone, responsibilities monthly knock on my door just as they do on others, do I NOT have to begin thinking realistically? Money. I need money to pay the bills and put clothes on my back. If you wonder how I survived all along throughout my college life, I have been wise enough to study hard, lucky enough to receive some amount of scholarship each semester, smart enough to sign up for countless English speech contests and brave enough to have won a few grand as the prize. I have also been capable enough to tutor Mandarin on Skype and make some allowance out of those lessons. As for YouTube? It’s been there and it doesn’t help me with my living. Today I had to phone a good friend of mine who only makes 105 NTD per hour and loan some money. I envied him for a moment; at least he is getting paid, I thought.
My YouTube channel, PeggyTeachesChinese is still growing, slowly and reluctantly. If I want to continue it, it’s going to take so much of my time and energy to keep it running.
As my exhaustion and frustration are getting released after I finished typing this blog, would I have a more positive thought tomorrow morning after a few hours of sleeping?
I hope I do.