A Dream Awoken by West Virginia
Friday, June 5, 2009 at 1:28AM 
I met a couple of students from University of West Virginia the other day. They have been here for over two weeks and came to Taoyuan Campus for a few hours of visit. I was told of an opportunity of a culture exchange activity. Eventually, I chose meeting new people over Management class and the teacher agreed with my leave.
All of them are around my age. A guy I met named Kevin who was my game partner was pretty cool. Listening to their activities in the past few weeks, it simply magnified my need for friends. Unlike a youth group I met years ago from a chapel in Arizona, their life seemed much more fun (but not crazy) and things that are allowed to be covered in a conversation seemed much broader, especially when there is no religous restraint.
But not only did this one-hour experience or interaction remind me of my status of being friendless, (I hangout with some foreign students at school but never found anyone to share the same value with, just yet; on the other hand, I no longer find Taiwanese friendship congenial. I used to have three close Taiwanese girl friends but we lost touch as we grew apart.) it also awoke my long forgotten dream in a deep slumber - a dream of studying Sociology in US and becoming a Sociologist. I was once so desperate that I nearly "sold" myself for my dream when I learned that nothingcomes easy in this life, we always have to give up something in order to gain something else.
The result of these thoughts coming back in my head was that I became all depressed and perplexed with my life the next day. All of a sudden, I felt exhausted, mentally and physically. My mind wandered on the campus aimlessly as if it was looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of being here but it wasn't sure which direction to go. A friend of mine noticed the difference in me and asked about it, I was surely literally understood, and besides I was physically accompanied by her yet I still felt alone and not being fully understood. My day was only blue, it mixed with the grey heaven by the nonstop heavy rain. All I wanted to do was to think about absolutely, nothing!
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Two long weeks later, I finally got a hold of them on Facebook. We all went out to a club in Taipei, I stayed over night and hanged out for a half day. I thought about seeing them off at the airport but I wisely chose not to as I know I usually get emotionally overwhelmed by a port. It seems to me that it penetrates with a sentiment of sadness and gloominess. I had to leave, early.
Here are some pictures from the time I spent with them in Taipei:
Reader Comments (4)
Hey Peggy,
I was studying in England for a few years, and the social life there is amazing. Well, at least at my uni it was. So close quarters and people know a lot of others, hang out together till late before/during/after classes, talk a lot, watch movies together...
Now I came to Taiwan to work and I love the people, love the place, and made a few friends, but nothing compares to that time before. There's no time nor opportunity to make something like that happen again. Been pretty blue about it too, for a while. In the end, though, maybe people themselves have to make their opportunities. Want to find friends? Look for them, like you did on that day. Want to know more people, seek them out. There are always a lot of mishaps, but it's much better than not to try at all. You certainly seem to be very social person. Don't give up. ;) If you enjoy the little things in life, one morning when you wake up you'll see the big things arrived as well. Well, that's my experience, anyway....
Hey Greg,
Thanks so much for taking time and writing all these down. :)
Yeah I’ve tried, I met a lot of people and in fact many of them are really cool. But somehow I just cannot build a deep friendship I once had with any of them. I started to think perhaps the problem is actually me, myself: ever since I found a definition for the so called ‘friendship’ for myself, I stopped calling simply everyone my friend. And as I grow older, I set some subtle boundaries of the certain people I’d like to invest my time with. I know it sounds cocky and self-sufficient yet I came to understand what a real friendship is. Since I am so picky with people, who am I to complain being friendless? Yeah, I knew that! Anyways, I surely will keep trying; I should get out of Taoyuan and try somewhere else.
Thanks again. It’s always nice to know someone who can fit in my shoes.
Peggy,
It breaks my heart to hear you talk that way. You are such a fantastic person, so full of energy and passion. You have so much to give in a friendship. I think you are a little shy inside, because you don't know enough about yourself. Who is Peggy? What does she like to do? Sometimes life is dissapointing, it is not as exciting as you thought it would be...But that is really up to you! Life is what you make it. Your attitude is what governs the way you feel about life. If you think you are having a shitty time?..you WILL have a shitty time. You are putting your heart into this teaching, and you seem to love doing it. You are VERY creative and quite talented in front of the camera. I am still learning from you, after all this time. You are a handful, don't get me wrong, sometimes you LIKE to create conflict, just to have something exciting to do! And that rubs some people the wrong way, but I KNOW you have people in your life that support you. People that love you. People that have GREAT patience. Waiting for the Peggy WE see, to become visible to you. Think. Have a great day.
PS, "Sold!!" Really! :)
Whoever wrote the comment above, you sound like someone I know in real life who has known me for a long time. It took me a day to figure out who you are but I guess that didn't matter anyways. Thank you for taking time and writing it all down. :) I've been told that the problem is planted deep inside myself, well, I guess you are right, I do have my own expectations on what excites me. And you are also right about me tending to cause conflicts to arouse excitement. But I do think I know myself pretty well, otherwise, how would I know what I want or what makes me happy. I appreciate the values you see in me though. They don't seem so visible to other people. ;)